Uphill Battle

Steph's liver numbers continue to climb in the wrong direction. The toxins building up in her blood (ammonia) are impacting her cognative ability. Yesterday she was able to answer all the questions - albeit a bit slow. Today she was answering all questions with her birthday or "same". To her credit, she does tell them I am in fact her husband, so at least she has the important stuff down. :)

The kidney team is hopefull as the kidney numbers have improved a bit. They are recommending a couple of medication options that can help remove the toxins from the blood. They did mention dialysis again as an option, should we need to cross that bridge in the future.

The liver team stopped by and said some of the numbers are improving and others are not. We are in a truly day by day pattern. She was given a couple drugs to help clear the toxins from the blood (💩). This should help improve the cognitive issue.

The physical therapist stopped in and helped Steph with some exercises she can perform in bed and taught me some stretches that I can help her out with.

We also met with the palliative care team. We had planned to speak with this this week as outpatient, but they were able to come to us here at the hospital. It was helpful, but hard. We have been so "in the trenches" that it is challenging to step out and look at the bigger picture. They are there for that and I am greatful to have them as part of the team.

They took another look at the leukima levels in Steph's blood. Twelve days ago it was 0.009% and today the report came back at 0.06%. This is very tough news and the prognoses is difficult to comprehend. This was a late breaking lab, so we have not yet discussed with the team. I will share more as the plan changes or we know more.

I was able to run home around 8:30 this evening and spend some time with the kids. I was able to have a conversation with Julie to update her on Steph's situation. Nothing in my life to date prepared me for that, but she was gracious and by God's grace it was fruitful for both of us. I hope that she will be able to visit tomorrow.

Today has been a very difficult day. I would like to say more, but I'm too exhausted at the moment. I will leave the last words to Steph:

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A blog post by Stephanie from August 19, 2011:

Praying Through the Psalms: Psalm 6

Psalm 6 is certainly not one of the happiest of the Psalms.  I’m grateful though, that they aren’t all happy-go-lucky upbeat tunes.  Sometimes, that’s not what’s in our heart.  We don’t always feel like worshiping God with the songs you can clap along to at church, but we want something kind of depressing, because that’s the kind of mood we’re in, or the tough season of life we’re in.  We can still get joy though, even in the hard times, from knowing that God is with us through thick and thin.  God is faithful to his people, and in relationship with us in good times and bad, and I praise him for that!

Psalm 6

1 O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger
 or discipline me in your wrath.
2 Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint;
 O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony.

Lord, I thank you that you do show great mercy and patience with me.  I ask that you would continue to be gracious to me, as your Holy Spirit continues his sanctifying work in me.

3 My soul is in anguish.
 How long, O Lord, how long?
4 Turn, O Lord, and deliver me;
 save me because of your unfailing love.

Lord, thank you that you love me enough to empower me to overcome sin in my life.  Thank you for all that you have delivered me from, and I pray that you would continue to let me have victory and walk in freedom.

5 No one remembers you when he is dead.
 Who praises you from the grave?
6 I am worn out from groaning;
 all night long I flood my bed with weeping
 and drench my couch with tears.

Lord, I’ve had nights like this one described.  I thank you that you faithfully brought me through those, and pray that I can remember that you are with me in the future when hard times come.

7 My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
 they fail because of all my foes.
8 Away from me, all you who do evil,
 for the Lord has heard my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
 the Lord accepts my prayer.

Lord, thank you that you hear my prayers, and that I’m able to be in relationship with you.  Being able to commune with you is an evidence of your mercy, and I pray that I would come to fully appreciate that.

10 All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed;
 they will turn back in sudden disgrace.